


Finding Love

by Elena78



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Gen, Marauders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-10
Updated: 2013-06-10
Packaged: 2017-12-14 12:39:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/836962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elena78/pseuds/Elena78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dark times were ahead of them, a war was fast approaching, but for one young couple, they knew how to find a way to survive it and find love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Finding Love

Lily walked the halls of Hogwarts, her shiny Head Girl badge glinting as she passed the windows with the morning rays of sunlight pouring in. It was too early for other students to be up yet, but this was her favourite time of the day. When she could just walk through the halls and enjoy the comfort and the safety of the Castle in its raw form.

Portraits were waking up, nodding their heads at her in morning greeting, the House ghosts drifting through walls as they too bask in the Castle's glory before the noise of the students invaded it. Yes, this was definitely her favourite time of the day. Smiling, she continued her way down the hall and turned a corner that led to the Entrance Hall.

Just as she was about to climb up the main staircase, she felt a tap on her shoulder and quickly spun around, her wand out, ready to face whatever was there. To Lily's astonishment, she couldn't see anyone and frowned. She listened carefully to all the sounds that she might possibly be able to pick up, but there wasn't anything, not even a creak from the Statues. Sighing, Lily put her wand away. She turned once again and felt the tap on her shoulder. This time, as she spun around, she could hear a familiar giggle and her frown turned into a scowl.

"James Potter!" She said angrily. "Show yourself at once?"

"No," she heard him whisper and felt a swish of something against her robes.

"I mean it James," Lily tapped her foot impatiently, not in the mood for his silly games. It was just like him to ruin such a perfect moment. "What are you doing up so early anyway?" She asked, feeling foolish that she was talking to an empty hall.

Silence greeted her ears and Lily stopped tapping her foot. "James?" she called out and looked around for where he might be.

Suddenly, she felt herself being wrapped in something and gasped. She felt James's warmth before he fully came into focus, but once he had, the scowl returned to her face.

"Have you lost your mind?" she hissed at him, but was only met with his cheeky grin.

"I have a surprise for you," he whispered.

Lily wasn't sure what was going on, but as they stood under his invisibility cloak, she saw something in his eyes, something out of place, but she couldn't figure out what it was.

"And this surprise just has to happen now, at six in the morning?" Lily asked. She knew her tone was harsher than what she meant, but James was acting very out of character and ruining her one time of the day she really enjoyed.

"Do you trust me?" He whispered and Lily caught her breath in her throat.

She didn't mean to hesitate, but the intense look in his eyes was something that she wasn't used to. His eyes always sparkled or gleamed with mischief. She had never seen him so...serious before and it was scaring her.

"Of course I do," she finally said her voice softening as she relaxed under the cloak. "But what is going on?"

"You'll see," he breathed against her lips before lightly brushing them with his.

Lily couldn't help but smile, it was rare that James ever did anything romantic, but what could be so romantic at six in the morning? She stopped questioning him as he led her out of the Castle and onto the grounds. It wasn't til they had reached the lake that Lily began her onslaught again.

"James, where are we going? We're the Head's of the school, we are allowed out you know?" He never answered her, but just threw a smile over his shoulder at her, sending her heart racing. "Honestly, where on earth are you taking me?"

"Shhh," He hushed her and began to slow down as they reached the other side of the lake.

Finally, they came to a stop and James removed the cloak from over them. "I didn't want anyone to see us," he said as he folded up his cloak and stuffed it into his robe pocket.

Lily raised a brow at him and grinned. "Since when have you not wanted to be seen with me?"

Her grin faded though, as James looked at her with that same intense look he gave her earlier. They stood staring at each other for a moment, as if time had suddenly stopped. He was looking at her so seriously that she thought that she might crumble underneath his stare. She gave him a questioning look, searching him for some unspoken answer to the mystery surrounding him, but she saw nothing. Finally, as if James found the motivation somewhere, he slowly smiled at her.

"I love you,"

Lily's heart leaped up into her throat upon hearing him profess his love for her. It wasn't the first time he had said it, but again, it was just that look upon his face, that gave it so much more meaning. She smiled up at him and tried to calm her nerves.

"I love you too," she said, almost shyly and blushed.

"Close your eyes," he whispered, moving to stand behind her and she gave a nervous giggle.

"What is with you today?" She asked, but James gave her a stern look and she tried to hide her smile as she shut her eyes tightly. "What now?"

James was standing so close behind her and she could feel his warm breath tickle down her neck, sending delightful shivers down her spine. In some ways, it still amazed her that it was only this last year that she began to see James differently. If someone had told her last year that she'd be head over heels in loved with James Potter, she would have hexed them without hesitation.

Yet, here she stood, with one of his hand placed at her hip, the other covering her eyes gently as he urged her forward. Her heart was racing, and she could feel butterflies in her stomach. She could not deny that she loved feeling so giddy around James and that she finally saw a side of him she never knew existed. It was that side of him she fell for, his compassion, and desire, to right the wrongs in the world. Yes, he was still an arrogant prat, but she learned to love that side of him too.

He giggled as she almost tripped, not sure exactly where James was leading her. He thought for a moment that if she could wake up to this every morning, she'd enjoy this particular time of the day much more. Finally they cam to a halt and she could feel James looking around, making sure whatever it was, was all set.

"Are you ready?" He whispered in her ear.

"Yes," she answered softly and James slowly removed the hand that covered her eyes.

It took her a moment, but when she finally opened her eyes, she gasped. The sight before her was unlike anything she had seen before and she turned around to look at James, and for the first time that morning, she saw her James looking back at her. He had a twinkle in his eye and a grin on his face.

"How did you manage this?" She asked him, but didn't wait for an answer.

Instead, she hurried over to the table that was set up with a feast sitting upon it. It was exactly like what she'd find in the Great Hall, but this was just set for the two of them, beneath two overhanging willows, and the lake in front of them. As she sat down and looked up, she could see the Castle in the distance and grinned.

James sat down beside her and watched as she drank everything in, loving how her eyes lit up at every new thing she discovered, but most of all, how serene she looked as she looked up at the Castle. He knew that Hogwarts was the one place she felt like home, and it was going to be hard for her to leave at the end of the year, to say goodbye and never to return.

"How?" she breathed and James couldn't help but chuckle.

"I called in a favour," He said casually and this made Lily giggle.

"What favour?" she asked incredulously, finally turning to look at him. "Even as Head Boy, I think you've managed to hold the hugest record for detentions while still keeping your badge,"

James shrugged, but grinned. "What can I say?" he countered, obviously proud to be known as one of Hogwarts biggest pranksters and still having authority of some sort. "I'm just too damn good at what I do,"

Lily laughed at him and shook her head. "You certainly are a mystery, Mr. Potter,"

"Mr. Potter?" He raised a brow at her. "Back to formalities, is it then, Miss Evans?"

Lily giggled again and happily watched as James served her up a plate of delicious breakfast for them both and poured them some pumpkin juice. Lily didn't hesitate to get stuck into her food; it wasn't every day that they got to enjoy views like this, so she intended on making the most of it what she could.

It didn't even bother her that she and James had slipped into a comfortable silence; it was something that they had between them. The knowledge that they could be happy together, and not need the use of words. It wasn't till Lily went for another helping of bacon that she realised that James hadn't touched one bit of his food.

"James?" She asked softly.

He seemed to jerk himself to attention, as if he was lost somewhere and she had pulled him back. She saw that serious look in his eyes again and knew that this wasn't just some spontaneous thing; he really had something to say to her. She went to speak, but James raised a hand in the air, cutting her off.

"I have to tell you something Lily, something you might not like," He said and looked down at his plate.

"Okay," Lily said nervously as she picked up her serviette and wiped it at her mouth. She twisted around in her chair so she could look at him, but he never moved his eyes off his plate. "What is it?"

He seemed to struggle with how to answer, but then, he took in a deep breath, looked up at her and said. "I'm joining the Order once we graduate,"

Lilly blinked at James and wasn't sure how to react. "Um, we all are James," She gave him a questioning look. "We've already discussed this,"

James shook his head and hesitated for a moment. "No," he said softly and turning in his chair to face her.

He took her hands in his, lightly brushing his thumbs against the smoothness of her skin. He looked at her and felt his breath catch in his throat. For so long he had wanted Lily Evans but he didn't really realise how much he loved her till right then. Her deep coppery hair was slightly blowing in the wind, her emerald green eyes looking so worried into his, her red, full lips parted slightly as she waited for him to respond.

He drank her in, drank in her beauty, burning every feature in his mind as if this was the last time he would see her. His heart pounded in his chest, partly from being with Lily, but partly out of fear. He couldn't lose her, not now...not ever!

"I'm not going to Auror training. I'm going straight into the Order and learning on the job," He stated with a strange sense of calm in his voice. "And I want you to join with me,"

Lily shook her head, not so much because she was saying no to James, but she couldn't believe what he was suggesting. "This is absurd, we're not even qualified," she said as she withdrew her hands from James's and stood up.

She moved over towards the lake, staring up at the castle, wondering how she had gotten from being so happy there to being shocked out of shoes here. She hadn't heard James follow her and wasn't even aware of his presence behind her, til he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Dumbledore won't allow it," Lily whispered, more to herself than to James.

"He already has,"

Lily whipped around to face James and just stared at him. "How, why?" she asked with a shake of her head, still not quite believing the conversation she was having.

When the threat of Voldemort became more serious, Dumbledore held a special assembly for most of the graduates. It was at this assembly that he informed them about the Order and what work they did. If anyone wanted to join, they needed to go through Auror training before they were allowed to know anything more about the faction. It was agreed that James and his friends would join and Lily wasn't sure to start with, but with little persuasion on his part, Lily agreed to also become an Auror.

But now, it was like James was changing the rules, changing their plan without even consulting her first and she was too confused to even understand why. As she stared at James, she could see things changing. His eyes lost their sparkle and his whole expression seemed to cloud over, almost as if he was being possessed.

He leaned in closer to her, his eyes holding hers. "I made you a promise once, do you remember it?" Lily nodded her head, unable to speak, let alone think when he was this close to her. "I swore that I'll always be here for you always and forever," James continued. "But if you don't join me, Lily. I'll have to break that promise,"

She felt something twist inside of her, grabbing a hold of her heart and slicing through it. She felt tears sting her eyes, but refused to let them fall. If this were his way of breaking up with her, then she would not give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry.

"What are you trying to say to me?" She choked out, not meaning to sound so emotional.

He looked deep into her eyes then, leaned in closer, and closed the gap between them. His lips met hers, brushing them lightly. She refused to respond to him though, not wanting him to manipulate the situation further. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her tight against him. He lightly nipped at her lip, wanting her to respond, but she was determined to not let him and tried to push him away.

"James," she said and turned her face away from him.

"Lily, please...." He breathed against her cheek.

She heard the desperation in his voice, making her turn back to face him. His lips claimed hers before she could even react, but this time, she allowed herself to be swept away, responding to what he wanted...

No, this wasn't want, Lily realised, and this was a need, a hungry, desperate need. James moved a hand up to cup her cheek as he kissed her over and over. Normally, a kiss like this would send her floating, soaring high above the clouds, but this time, her feet were planted on the solid ground, her heart beat wildly in her chest as she could feel an overload of emotion pour out of James and into her.

He soon began to tremble in her arms and Lily clung to him, wanting to find the source of his desperation. His sweet taste soon turned to...salty? Lily's eyes opened and she saw the tears and tried to break the kiss, but James kept her held tightly to him, his whimper telling her he didn't want to lose her contact. His lips moved so softly over hers, yet there also seemed to be a hunger in them and it began to overwhelm her. Then she felt the last change and his soft lips turned to quivering ones as he finally broke the kiss, but ended up in huge sobs in her arms.

"James?" she whispered, even though she was out of breath.

He couldn't speak though, he clung to her instead, and Lily could feel her eyes sting, knowing she was going to cry too. She had never seen James cry...not even with all the fights he's been in; the times he was knocked or beaten around in a Quidditch match...never! She had no idea what had set him off, but from the deep, hard sobs he gave, she knew it was bad, very, very, bad!

She tried to hush him, whispering sweet nothings to him, as they both seemed to collapse to the ground. It was some time later when his sobs died down and his breathing returned to normal. Lily moved slightly away from him and couldn't hold back her tears any longer. The look of despair on his face killed her, she had never seen him look like he was in so much pain, not even the time when a bludger had hit his shoulder and dislocated it.

"Merlin, James," she whispered. "What happened?" she knew her voice was shaky and she wiped away the fresh tears that dripped from her eyes.

James took his glasses off his face and pulled a handkerchief from his robe pocket. He wiped his eyes and blew his nose, trying to compose himself. He looked at Lily, even though she was a little blurry without his glasses on, he knew the beautiful face looking at him was concerned for him. Taking a deep breath and replacing his glasses on his face, he delivered his news.

"They are dead," he said simply. "My parents were murdered last night," His voice was squeaky and he felt the lump in his throat as new sobs erupted from him.

"Oh," Lily whispered and pulled him back into her arms.

This time, she cried with him, sharing his pain with him. She remembered meeting the Potters during the holidays before school had started. James had invited her around for a small party to celebrate their last year of school. She was reluctant to go, but it was the party that changed her life. That day, James had kissed her for the first time and she knew that there was no looking back. His parents were very nice and accepted her without question. They accepted the fact that James held her hand and showed her off as his new girlfriend. She really wished she could have gotten to know them better.

She slightly pulled away from James, allowing him to calm down again before she checked her watch. She knew they had to get back soon but didn't want to rush him either.

"We best head back now," she said softly. "It's almost time for the students to come down for breakfast,"

James shook his head. "I can't go back in there..." Lily struggled to hold onto her emotions as she watched James struggle with his. "I have to tell Sirius," he shook his head. "But I can't,"

Lily nodded her head, as she understood what he was saying. She was aware of Sirius's disagreement with his parents and their beliefs and that he ran away from home and was living with the Potter's. That was one good thing she knew about James's parents, they accepted Sirius with open arms, adopted him into their family and loved him like a son.

"It's best that it comes from you," Lily whispered. "You know this news will be all over the school and most definitely in the Daily Prophet. Sirius needs to hear this from you,"

She hated being the responsible one right now. She wished that she could just take James away for a while and let him grieve in peace. Unfortunately, in times like these, peace was something that you could only wish for. They sat in silence for a while and Lily slipped her hand into his, giving it a gentle squeeze. Finally, James took a deep breath and began to rise, bringing Lily with him.

"Stay with me," he whispered.

Lily smiled and nodded, if James needed her, she wasn't about to let him down now. Withdrawing his wand, James waved it at the table of food, it disappeared, and together, they made their way back to the castle. They walked in silence, but Lily kept a firm hold of his hand, making sure he knew that she was there and wasn't going to leave him.

As they neared the castle, James stopped and Lily waited for him. She knew he was trying to control his emotions. He knew that once they entered the castle and saw the first of the students that the whispering would start.

"We can use your cloak," Lily offered but James shook his head.

"No, I can't hide under it forever,"

Lily gave his hand another gentle squeeze. "I'm right here with you,"

James nodded and they made their way into the castle. It didn't take them long before they were walking past the early risers. James kept his head down, allowing Lily to lead him, but she heard the whispering already. Normally students would smile and wave, but this morning, their smiles faulted as they saw the sadness on her face and James's refusal to look at anyone.

By the time they had reached the third floor, Lily had had enough of the whispers and took a short cut. It was times like these that she was grateful to be the Head Girl and know the castle's secret passages. She took the one that would get them up to Gryffindor tower, but just before they stepped out into the hall, James stopped her again.

"It's going to kill him," James said softly. "He's only just started to get used to having us as a new family."

Lily hesitated before she spoke, making sure to choose her words carefully. "I understand that this is hard, but you both have Remus and Peter...and me,"

James looked lovingly upon Lily's face, using his free hand to sweep a loose lock of hair away from her face. A hint of a smile graced his face before he leaned in for a soft kiss.

"Thank you," he whispered against her lips and Lily couldn't help but blush slightly.

They stepped out into the hall, and walked a little until they reached the portrait of the Fat Lady. Lily gave the password and James followed her into the common room.

"Hey, where have you ..." Sirius called out but stopped immediately once he saw the look on James's face.

Lily went straight up to the girl's dorm and it looked like she had been crying. Sirius looked back at James and when their eyes met, he knew something bad had happened. James's eyes were red and puffy and Sirius could tell he had been crying. He hadn't ever seen James cry and wondered for a moment if he had just broken up with Lily. He was about to say something when he heard shouting from the girls Dorms.

Lily flung the door open and was standing by it. "I said GET OUT!"

The first years ran as fast as they could, followed by other girls from older years. One girl stopped and Sirius vaguely recognised her.

"Lily, this is insane, we're not even dressed yet," the girl said.

"Think of it as Head's privilege, you can come back later to dress, now clear out of here," The girl huffed, but left wearing only her pyjamas. Lily looked down from the stairs and spotted Remus. "Clear out the boy's dorm," she said more softly and Remus shrugged, but did as he was asked.

Sirius looked back at James and he was now leaning on the back of the armchair, with his head down. Something was wrong...very wrong! There were a few students in the common room; watching just like he was and Sirius gave them his best smile.

"All right, you lot, out!"

The students scrambled as fast as they could and Remus ushered the boys out of the common room too. Soon enough it was clear and Lily made her way back down the stairs and stood beside James. Remus came to stand beside Sirius with Peter on his other side.

"So, what gives?" Sirius asked and James slowly raised his head too look at his three best friends.

Lily took James's hand in hers again and gave it a gently squeeze. James tried to smile at her, but he could feel the lump in his throat rise again. The tears came again and he wiped them away with his sleeve.

"What the hell has happened?" Sirius demanded.

This time, James looked at Sirius and took a deep breath. "My parents,"

"What about them?" Sirius stepped forward.

"The Dark Mark was found above our house last night," James said. "By the time the Auror's got there, it was too late," James broke down again and Sirius just stood still.

"Oh no," Remus whispered and stumbled back and slumped into the lounge.

Sirius shook his head in disbelief. "No, there has to be a mistake,"

James shook his head. "Dumbledore told me that they found the b...bodies,"

Sirius cringed as he looked at James then at Lily, who was wiping away her tears. He shook his head again. "No...NO!" With the last shout, Sirius kicked the table over that was in front of him. Books thudded to the floor, quills went flying, and ink splattered everywhere.

"NO," Sirius yelled again as he turned around and grabbed another small table, lifted it up and threw it across the room.

The table shattered and bits of wood went scattering across the room. One of its legs hit the fire, sending kindles and sparks to fly out, catching the books on the ground to light up.

Lily quickly moved and extinguished the fire with her wand, but Sirius kept raging. He ripped curtains down, kicked at the lounge, threw books across the room, and took his anger out on anything he could get his hands on. Peter cowered in a corner and Remus tried to stop Sirius but ended up ducking or dodging around his path of destruction.

"Sirius," James called out and that seemed to still him.

Sirius was breathing hard and began punching his fist into the stone wall. "Why them, why such good people?" Finally, Sirius stopped, as his fist now looked bright red; he turned around and slid down the wall, sobbing into his hands.

James moved to sit beside him, as did Remus. Peter, peeked out from his corner, but Lily could see the tears on his face. That was all she could do, just watched as four friends came together to grieve. She felt out of place, like she shouldn't be there, but she promised James that she would be there for him, so she stayed.

"I'm sorry," Sirius chocked out. "I'm so sorry,"

"It's not your fault," James whispered.

"It's just not fair," Sirius said as he looked around the room he had just destroyed. "It isn't FAIR!" he shouted and picked up a book and hurled it into the air.

Lily had to dive out of the way, but what got her attention was to see the book stop in mid air. From behind the book, and other debris, Dumbledore carefully stepped into the common room.

"I see you all know the sad news," he said as he looked at the boys sitting on the ground. "I'm afraid that I must bring some more bad news,"

All eyes went on him and Lily's heart stopped. She was too wrapped up in James's grief that she didn't think about any one else who may have been attacked. Her parents and her sister were Muggles. It would make much more sense if they were attacked by Death Eaters than a pure blood family like James's.

Dumbledore searched the room, his eyes went right by Lily and she felt a glimmer of hope, but when his eyes landed on the small boy still hiding in the corner, Lily covered her mouth to hide her gasp.

"I'm sorry Peter, we found your parents this morning," Dumbledore said softly. Peter closed his eyes and wept silently in his corner, the other three boys too shocked to move or speak. "I have made sure that your father was moved to safety Remus, as I have with your parents and sister, Lily," Dumbledore continued. "I'm terribly sorry for your losses. We have arranged a small, private memorial service next week," he then turned to look at Lily. "When you are done here, can I count on you to restore the common room before the other students return?"

Lily nodded her head, but couldn't look at her head master.

"Very well," Dumbledore then turned and left the common room.

"I'm so sorry Peter," Lily whispered and stumbled her way to a nearby armchair.

"Pete?" James called out.

Peter wiped his eyes and stood up from his corner. "We're going to fight them, aren't we?" he said and everyone looked at him.

"Let's not worry about that now," Remus had stood and was walking over to him. "We don't have to think about that right now,"

"No," Peter said as he shook his head. "I'm done with being scared. I've just lost my parents and so have James and Sirius," Peter wiped his tears and for the first time, they were seeing a confidence in him that they never knew existed.

"Our families are Pure Blooded, why go for them? Why attack the people they want to preserve? It doesn't make sense!" Peter ranted. "We fight, after we graduate, we go and join in the fight, right guys?"

"Yeah, Pete," Sirius said. "We will,"

Lily looked at the boys and saw the same understanding and determination in their eyes. She felt almost jealous at the way they understood each other, yet admired them at the same time. Finally, she found a way to move and headed towards Sirius.

"Let me look at your hand."

Sirius looked up at her and smiled. "I'm fine."

"The hell you are! Just let me have a look at it," Lily demanded and Sirius held out his bloody fist.

Lily cleaned up the wound and shook her head. "You'll have to see nurse, this cut here," she pointed to a small cut between his knuckles. "is a bit deep."

James helped Sirius too his feet. "C'mon mate, I'll go with you."

"We'll all go." Peter said and Remus agreed.

"I am sorry James, and for you too, Pete," Sirius whispered and Lily saw something she never thought she had ever seen. The boys came together in a group hug. There were more tears, more sniffles, but she knew that they'd be okay, because they had each other.

~~*~~

The next week went by in a blur, the last of the exams were being conducted, and the memorial service was upon them before they knew it. Lily couldn't help but cry, she wept for the loss of life, she wept for James, Sirius and Peter, but most of all, and she wept for the impending war to come. There would be more loss of life, there would be more tears to cry, but as the warm, gentle hand squeezed hers, she knew that there was some good ahead of them too.

It was the last Hogsmeade weekend before graduation. James was holding Lily's hand, lightly rubbing his thumb back and forth against the smooth skin of her hand. To her, it seemed like the most normal, natural occurrence, but today, something felt horribly wrong. Lily suddenly stopped, her heart pounding a million miles an hour, she watched as James jolted to a stop and looked back at her.

He raises a brow. "Lils?"

 

"Marry me!" She blurted out and James was taken aback.

"What?"

"Marry me." she said again. It wasn't even a question, nor a demand, but more of a plea. Everyone around them had stopped to watch and James felt slightly uncomfortable.

"This is it, James. After this, we go into battle and I want just one thing good, one thing happy. I want something that the darkness can never touch. You, us...I know we're young...but...."

"Lily..." James whispered, seeing the panic in her eyes. "We will survive this."

"No, it isn't about that." Lily stepped up closer to James. "It's about this."

Pulling James down by his tie, Lily lightly placed her lips on his, kissing him so softly, so tenderly that James wasn't sure if she really was kissing him at all.

However, he understood then, as he wrapped his arms around her waist, ignoring the cheers that erupted around them, and deepened their kiss.

It was about love, something so pure and so mutually felt that nothing could touch it or destroy it. It was pure bliss and happiness and the more Lily kissed him, the more James fell for her.

Pulling back from the kiss, James stared into those sparkling green eyes that captured his heart when he was just a young boy. "Yes," he whispered. "Yes, I'll marry you!"

The crowd cheered as James lifted Lily up in his arms and swung her around. Even though they had experienced the pain of the war to come, even though there was danger ahead of them, everything seemed right in that moment, because out of all the death and hate, they had found love.


End file.
